Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
