Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
