fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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