just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
