Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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