her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
