did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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