Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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