I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
