Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize