I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
