did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Say something about gay babies.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
