and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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