fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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