Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
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High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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