I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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