thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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