why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
