she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
kristin has been a bad kristin
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
