whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
