loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
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We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
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We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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