Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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