umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
