I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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