K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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