Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
