im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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