More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize