Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
