I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize