Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
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I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
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My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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