took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize