Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
