4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
