You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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