There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
love makes seman taste better
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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