My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
