What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
