i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
