if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We need to rekindle our bromance
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize