I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
