My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
