I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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