I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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