she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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