im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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