you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize