were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
