I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize