fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
