ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
