Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
