i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
do nipples grow back?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
