he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
