Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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