Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
