We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
