U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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