you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize