If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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